“Every writer I know has trouble writing.” -Joseph Heller
What comfort these words bring because trouble is an understatement, at best. Trouble washes all over me every time I sit down to write and oppresses me long before I sit my harried self down to write. It’s like a hamster on its wheel, energetically running but never quite getting there.
I think they’re rats. Why I bought into this rat business, I don’t know. But I’m ready to buy out of it. I’ll give the rats away or let them run loose. I don’t care what happens to them, if I’m honest. I just know that I’m tired of their existence in my life.
Perfectionism. Fear of failure. Fear of looking shameful. Pressure to be somebody that I am not and pressure to un-become the person I should be. Fear of what people will think. Not enough fear of God. Fear that I did the wrong thing or will do the wrong thing or am doing the wrong thing. Worry about the things of tomorrow and a lack of being fully present in today. These are just a few of the nasty rats in my life but boy howdy, it’s time they get their racing legs turned towards–away. They can run around in the wilderness all they want and I don’t care. I just don’t need them in my life.
“Take no thought for the morrow for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.” (Matthew 6:34) Oh, the bliss of taking thought only for the things of today!
I wonder how I arrive in this place where no rats live and my life is blissful and calm. You know, calm in my heart if not calm anywhere else.
The idea is an easy one, if I’m willing to stop and apply it. But that’s the hard part. It’s so comforting to read those beautiful words. But then I typically go find my rats again and keep racing them, as if God’s Word didn’t apply after all. I guess I’m still learning to be a human who “does these things” instead of “being a hearer only”.
A friend reminded me that it’s okay to be learning as I go. That’s really what everyone is doing. We’re living, messing up, and learning from our mistakes. Which is the obvious reason for gray hair being a sign of wisdom.
“Take no thought for the morrow”. Okay. So much for all my careful planning and “stressing”, as I typically call it.
“The morrow will take thought for the things of itself.” That’s extremely sweet of tomorrow to take care of itself. Really gives me one less thing to take care of today.
“Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.” No kidding. The Greek definition for ‘evil’ is ‘badness’ or ‘trouble’. And I’m hear to tell you that every day does bring Badness of its own but wow, if I would stop listing in my mind all the badness that next week or month or year or tomorrow will bring, I would be free to conquer Badness today and I don’t think it would even be very Bad anymore. All the Badness of last week and all the Badness of next week is not the enemy God has given me to fight. His weapon of Grace is powerful against the Badness of Today.
It feels to me like we should all exclaim Selah at the end of this verse because it would be beneficial to pause at this moment, stare our Rats in the face, and tell them to wiggle their tails onto someone else’s territory. Or, if they prefer, right into the trap of death.
colliding with destiny 